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What every daughter needs from her mom

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I am a mom of two girls. I remember like it was yesterday when I brought my firstborn to home seven years ago, not having much clue about the journey ahead.

Nothing I read or learned from people could prepare me for the real experience. To experience motherhood in its glory, you have to live it. It is an adventure that stretches you beyond your comprehension. 

When I see moms of boys and their challenges, I can’t help but wonder if raising one gender is easier or tougher than the other.

I consulted moms who have kids of both genders, and what I could conclude was there are equal challenges when it comes to raising both girls and boys and it changes according to different parenting seasons, ages, and personalities. (If you have a different opinion, do share in the comments below. I am curious!)

Boys are usually more adventurous and fearless to satisfy their curiosities, while girls are emotionally more expressive and like to play safe. 

Two things inspired me to write this post:

  • The world has changed a lot since we grew up as little girls. So as mothers, we need to equip our girls with the right tools and knowledge to thrive and survive in this technology-oriented world.
  • To share what I would have liked my own mom to give me while I was growing up and the things that she taught me that I want to pass onto my daughters. 

So let’s begin?



The number one thing I would like to instill in my daughters is self-confidence and unconditional love for herself.

I grew up with lots of limiting beliefs and I know the struggle of the constant fight with self-doubts. I don’t want my daughters to be unable to follow their dreams because they think they don’t have the potential in them to fulfill their ambitions.

And what usually stops us is the fear of judgment. The society is usually obsessed with finding faults. No one reminds us of our good qualities and so we regret about the qualities that we don’t possess.

But let’s break the cycle today. Help your daughter to find her strengths and the qualities that make her the special person she is.

Help her to strongly believe in them. She will easily believe in what others say about her, but as a mother, you can change the story of her life by brushing off the negative comments.

Girls usually start getting conscious and obsess over their body image in their teenage years, or even earlier. That’s when they start to notice their skin colour, size and shape of their nose or other body features.

But mothers can teach her that she is more than her bodily features and what she is, is good enough. We can teach her to rise above society’s skewed standards.

 I always tell my daughters that, in life what matters is what you do and how much kindness you can give to others.

What matters is, whether you follow your dreams and how much light you can fill in your loved ones’ lives. And no one should define how you should look. 

External beauty fades, but the inner beauty remains till we die.

What every daughter needs from her mom


The special bond between a father and a daughter is often talked about, but for a girl the support a mom can provide is immense. There are many things in life that she can confide in her mom. 

A girl goes through a lot of tough stages in life including teenage (the surge of hormones), pregnancy, delivery, etc. She can go through a lot of emotional turmoil when she has to face life-changing events like breakups, divorce, etc.

Moms can play a role in supporting them through all these tough phases in life. It is hard enough for a girl (or a woman) when all these hormones are raging inside her creating mood changes and other symptoms.

Instead of scolding her for the “misbehavior”, offer support, patience, and understanding. 

Don’t judge or criticize her for making wrong decisions, but let her know that you are always there for her no matter what and she can call you anytime to talk. 

Women deal with stress differently from men. Women like to talk about their problems and that’s how they find stress relief.

More than men, women can fulfill this need “to be heard” as they are natural empaths. I think no one else can do this role better than mothers. 

Because moms have lived life a lot ahead of their daughters and they have seen it all. “Mom knows better” is not a cliche phrase, but a truth. 

Mothers should be able to make her daughter believe that she can always count on her mom to be there when she needs emotional support. 


We know how hard it is to keep up with the housework and still spend quality time with kids. 

But as we know, girls are talkers. They like to talk about what happened in school and the little troubles they have to face. No matter how busy you are, always try to find time to look in their eyes when they talk and truly listen. 

Because let’s face it, we are never gonna finish our chores and truly get free time to spend with them. So always make use of the time you get here and there, even if it’s 10 minutes.

And don’t always rush them off saying you‘re busy when they want to share something. If you have to, promise you will listen to their problem when you’re done with your work and make sure to follow through.

They are becoming bigger each day and each time when you turn them off, it creates an emotional distance between you two. 

And also always make sure you free yourself up for the events that mean a lot to them. And take each of them(if you have more than one daughter) on mommy-daughter dates where you get to do special things. They will remember it forever. 

Related: How to balance work and life perfectly as a work-at-home mom

What every daughter needs from her mom


The self-beliefs that form in the first twenty years of life are crucial for a human being.

These beliefs decide the path that we take in life and determine whether we have the courage to follow our passions. 

Whenever she declares she wants to do something, never discourage her with your own doubts.

If you express even a shadow of a doubt, she might hesitate to believe in herself. And when she has a limiting belief, you can point out why she might be thinking wrong. 

Limiting beliefs can be changed at any age, but a mom can play a huge role in nipping them in the bud.

We are often quick to criticize but never tell them openly about the qualities we like in our children.

For a change, try telling them “I like how you looked after your sister while I wasn’t home. You can handle responsibilities well.” She will feel so proud and will believe it. And that will truly reflect in the way she sees herself. 

Always, always talk to her about the qualities you like in her. 



A parent’s anger issues affect children badly. Research shows that yelling makes kids aggressive, insecure, develops anxiety and has low self-esteem. 

When you are quick to get angry, it becomes difficult for your daughter to confide in you when she makes mistakes. So it is important to work on your anger issues. 

I am constantly working on my short temperament because I don’t want to be a mom who is hard to approach when my daughters make mistakes. And reducing anger is beneficial for your well-being too. 

Related: 15 self-care activities for busy moms to stay sane

What every daughter needs from her mom


To raise her as an independent girl, you need to stop hovering around her so that she doesn’t make mistakes. Let her make her own choices and experience success and failure.

When she makes mistakes, do not condemn her. Instead, console her by pointing out how everyone makes mistakes. 

And most importantly teach her to forgive herself. You don’t have to take all your mistakes seriously and be embarrassed about them for a long time.

Instead, teach her to take things lightly and laugh at herself for the silly mistakes she made. 


This lesson is so important for a young girl. Childhood sexual abuse is more common than we think.

It is important for young girls to know to differentiate between “good touch” and “bad touch” because many kids don’t have an idea when it happens, either because they’re young or ignorant.

Not only that, they should be taught self-defense strategies if such an unfortunate event takes place. This is a must-have conversation between a mom and a daughter.

And we must talk to them about their private parts in an age-appropriate language, starting from when they are toddlers. 

You can begin by telling her that her body is her own and no one has the ownership to it except her. And it’s her choice and decision about who should touch her body and who shouldn’t. 

And the most important thing, tell her that she should talk to you if she experiences any misbehavior of this sort. 

Related: How to teach kids about body safety (5 body safety rules all kids must know to protect themselves)

What every daughter needs from her mom


Some good values and lessons that you can teach your daughter:

  • Integrity
  • Kindness and empathy
  • Love for self and others
  • Hard work
  • Gratitude
  • Respect to self and others
  • Standing for self
  • Self-discipline
  • The importance of financial independence
  • Gender equality
  • Facing criticism

Life skills that you can teach her:

  • Running a home
  • Cooking
  • Sewing
  • Money management
  • Doing laundry
  • Communication skills
  • Etiquette
  • Simple home repair skills (this article has resources to get started)
  • Basic first-aid
  • Basic car repair
  • Problem-solving skills

These are some basic life skills. If you want more, you can read the article, 17 basic life skills your child must learn before leaving home. 

Related: How to get kids started on doing chores


Girls go through a lot of emotional ups and downs, thanks to their hormones. They might not be able to understand why they feel the way they do. It is hard to deal with lots of anger, irritability, and mood swings when they don’t know why it’s happening to them. 

From a young age, it’s important to acknowledge her emotions and empathize with her. When she approaches you to talk about something that’s bothering her, name those emotions like, “You are sad”, “You are angry”, “You are irritated”, etc. 

What she needs is “not disciplining”, but “understanding” of her emotions. The connection between you two will help her to talk about it than suffering alone.

Finally, teach her effective coping mechanisms to deal with the emotions on her own and not take it on others.

Coping mechanisms include doing mediation, taking deep breaths, getting engaged in activities she loves, walking in nature to get fresh air, etc. 

Related: How to get started with positive parenting

What every daughter needs from her mom


The world is going more technology-oriented and it’s essential to teach kids about staying safe from the possible dangers of internet usage.

We hear horror stories about deadly online games, cyberbullying etc. all the time. While it’s safe to think it happens only to “others”, know that our child can become a victim too. 

So here are some actionable steps to help her (or him) use the internet safely:

  • Talk to them openly about the possible dangers of the internet and social media usage
  • Update them about the deadly online games and ensure they know how to not fall into the trap
  • Make sure you have set limits on screen time
  • Help them stay disciplined about the balance between the online and real-world
  • Ask them not to share their private details to strangers on the internet. Teach them they have the option to block people they don’t know. 
  • Ask them not to follow anyone’s instructions online without consulting you first
  • Teach them how to use social media responsibly. Tell them the life portrayed on social media can be deceiving and fake.


As evident from the tips above, open communication and building a strong connection is key to raise your daughter as your best friend. I don’t necessarily believe in raising kids to be my friends, but I want them to be able to rush to me if they have even the silliest or the most troubling news in life. 

I want my daughters to know that my heart and my house are always open if they need a break and a shoulder to cry on. 

I am far from a perfect mother, but every day I try to make myself a better mom than I was yesterday. How about you? What is it that you find it necessary to teach your daughter? Let me know in the comments below. 

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How can you make sure you are raising your daughter the right way? What advice should you give her so as to make her a confident and independent woman? Here are 10 things that your daughter needs you to teach her.
How can you make sure you are raising your daughter the right way? What advice should you give her so as to make her a confident and independent woman? Here are 10 things that your daughter needs you to teach her.

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Friday 5th of May 2023

We are expecting our first daughter in the fall (we already have 3 boys) and I’ve been really concerned about being able to give her the emotional support she’ll need. My pediatrician had a lot of the same suggestions, but I’m so grateful I found this blog!


Friday 5th of May 2023

Congrats on your baby girl, Cheryle! And I am happy you found this article useful! You are a great mom for thinking ahead for your baby!

Tracy Lea

Saturday 8th of April 2023

Hello Waheeda,

I have to say "thank you" for this advice. Listing all that you made mention of clearly shows you are able to see outside the present day and age and illustrated the genuine qualities every girl should know. These are the makings of a woman with virtue. Bringing the subjects of advice regarding the current dangers and warnings are for their protection. Any genuine pro active woman who've struggled through life without knowing this any of this, will recognize how valuable this information is. Also, have some sense of what to do going into motherhood. This will one day help my daughter become a great mom as well. It's important for me to express my trust in this information knowing that advice could only come from experiencing "literally" this firsthand as a person who already knew what to look out for so, THANK YOU. (just incase anyone reading this is skeptical, right?) Yes!

Now..... For me your insight & expertise is in how to become the best woman for yourself as well. I believe in free will, and as God as my witness this information will never lose it's relevance no matter how twisted our current day and age seems to present itself as....Yes, "times have changed" yet, for the duration, in all seasons past and future...this information is top 5 in most important core principles of how to raise your daughter to be the best woman she could be and/or every girl should strive to look up to. Once again thank you for sharing. Sending love and loyalty your way.

P.S. I will be adding the modest dress value even though my daughter knows as of right now what I think about that but, I will not give in ever to letting her get away with it even sometimes. It's too much of a trap, and we both agree dressing moderately is one of the most important self-protections we can instill. All young girls need to be protecting themselves from things that should never happen to them starting day one. Focusing on keeping their ideas from living a life of "no reward or virtue within them" to instead have incredible confidence and freedom in living a genuine life of their own making, no matter what. Living a life of feeling happy & contentedly as a person from purposefully choosing to live with protection from God with the lifeforce connected to others who also know better simply by recognizing our need for something real that's in us all and identify, it's love.


Wednesday 25th of January 2023

My name is Phoebe-Achirem Abigail,am happy to share this on the comments scetion ,I'm a single mother with one child ( a girl ) DELPHINA SERWAA ANOKYE is her name . sometime i feel like am not being a goodmother because its hard for me to punish her for wrong doing and she is aware of her doings and sometime apologise for that but i feel like am not being there as a mum for her as i fear for her outcome in the future ...any word of advise


Thursday 25th of August 2022

Great advice!! Thank you for sharing. It hit 🎯 hit right on target with mentioning that chores will never be done so take time to have Girl Talk. I'm jotting down these tips and implementing them today. :)


Sunday 2nd of October 2022

Thanks for reading:)


Thursday 25th of August 2022

thabks for that great article and input. Having two daughters as well, one already in fucking puberty, I am trying to teach them independance. No natter what they want to be/ become, I want them to love it, being the best version of themselves. Personally I am working on controlling my anger (unfortunately FAR away from being perfect), trying to not understand the moodswings, rather helping her dealing with it. Humor is always the best medicine to deal with everything , but wine helps too ;) thank you again, loved reading your article.


Sunday 2nd of October 2022

Thanks so much for your kind words:) Parenting can bring so many opportunities for us to work on our flaws (like anger management) because we want to show up as better human beings for our kids. However nobody is perfect and it's okay to remind yourself that you are a work in progress (we all are). Parenting helps us to grow as individuals along with our kids.

And as you said bringing humour can help lighten many situations and help us deal with anger too.

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