Messy Yet Lovely

Backtalk is one of the most annoying behaviors parents face and feel worried about. Backtalks can be a normal part of growing up. But at the moment, as a parent when you are talked back to, it can make you enraged because you feel disrespected. You might think, “After all that I do for them, this is what I get”. I am here to say, I get you. Every parent goes through this at some point in time and it is okay. It is not legitimate to expect kids to be at their best behaviors all the time. And raising obedient kids who don’t speak a word against you (that means they can speak for themselves) isn’t healthy either. They should learn to assert their personal boundaries and express their emotions. It’s a sign of being a healthy individual. That being said, it doesn’t mean you have to endure whatever…

If you ask me what the toughest part of parenting is, I would say it is making the kids do what they don’t want to do. But when we also know that it’s something they need to do, it becomes every parent’s nagging problem. Homework is one such thing. If your child is intrinsically motivated to learn and do homework, you are lucky. But for many parents, getting their child to do their homework is a struggle. The key is in making kids internally motivated and making homework a habitual thing, so they know it is something they have to do. Why do kids hate homework? Many kids refuse to do homework because, after long hours at school, they simply don’t have the energy or interest to study again. And kids are missing out on their free time which they could spend playing with their friends or engaging in the…

Getting kids used to doing chores from a young age is essential to make them grow as independent and responsible adults. A culture I admire for raising kids responsible by making them do chores from a young age is of the country, Japan. In Japan, children receive the training to do all kinds of chores from a young age from school. Their aim is to grow kids into responsible citizens. They train children to do age-appropriate chores in each grade. It can be hard to grasp for non-Japanese people to digest the fact that first graders have the duty to clean their classrooms, but it shows how parents limit the kids from doing age-appropriate chores. We underestimate kids thinking they are not capable of doing the grown-up chores. But the fact is, with a little training, kids can be taught to do many of the chores we think is impossible…

One of the hardest roles you will ever play in life is that of a parent. If some days are extremely rewarding as a parent, on some other days, you are frustrated and might hate being a parent. We do not become parents after becoming fully educated and qualified to be one. We learn on the way. And that could lead to making many parenting mistakes. And some mistakes can even cost the self-esteem and healthy upbringing of our children. If we do not understand these mistakes and continue with bad parenting, it can have a lasting impact on our kids. The following are some signs to look for, to evaluate if you are doing a bad job in parenting. This is not to devalue anyone, but only for understanding where we need to improve as a parent. WHAT IS BAD PARENTING? On many struggling days, many parents do wonder…

Toddler tantrums are hard for both – parents and kids. It can be overwhelming and stressful, especially if tantrums break out in public places. So the question is, why do kids have tantrums? And is it possible to avoid tantrums? If you are wondering how you can stop your child from throwing tantrums over everything, let’s dig deep into what temper tantrums are and why kids have tantrums in the first place, so we can know how to manage it better. WHAT ARE TEMPER TANTRUMS? According to healthofchildren.com, a temper tantrum is defined as, A tantrum is an episode of extreme anger and frustration characterized by crying, screaming, and violent body motions, including throwing things, falling to the floor, and banging one’s head, hands, and feet against the floor. Temper tantrums are usually seen in kids aged between 1 and 4. It is most frequent in kids around the age…

As soon as we become parents, parental stress becomes a part of us. It’s natural to worry about the people we love. But when it comes to kids, since we are the ones raising them and teaching them everything, we worry more. Learning to manage anxiety is important to bring out your best as a parent. If we can’t handle stress as a mother, it affects our energy and the ability to function healthily. Mom anxiety affects not only us but our kids too. It’s hard for kids to live with a parent who has anxiety. So for our own sake and for our kids, let’s learn how to deal with stress as a mom. 1. GROW AWARENESS The first step in dealing with stress is becoming aware of it when we experience anxiety. Anxiety manifests outward as headache, stomach pain, fatigue, shortness of breath, insomnia, and other sleep issues. If…

Children, like adults, have the inherent need to belong and feel significant. When they don’t feel belonging and realize that they matter, they react through different ways of misbehaviors. Do you often wonder why your child misbehaves even after disciplining and teaching so many times? Well. Repeating yourself verbally many times is ineffective and is bad training. You need to get to the root of their behavior to understand the real causes. So, why do kids act out? Kids act out when they have unmet needs. As said earlier, needs include physical and emotional. Physical needs include nutritious food, shelter, good sleep, clothing, etc. I think most of us are aware of their physical needs. Emotional needs include love, attention, and freedom to choose and be. When these needs are unmet, they do not know to say it directly. They express it through “misbehaviors”. When they misbehave, what they actually…

The best way to solve a problem is to prevent the problem. The same can be said about clutter. If you do all the decluttering only to bring back more of it, what’s the point right? After you do the major decluttering task (or minor), how can we stop accumulating clutter again? Here are some tips. FORM GOOD DECLUTTERING HABITS The best way to prevent clutter from accumulating is to form daily decluttering habits that prevent clutter accumulation. Let’s see what those good habits are. 1. LEARN TO DEAL WITH THE TEMPTATION The number one reason we accumulate stuff is that we are tempted by the next cute thing or the next big hyped thing. Most of the time, we don’t even need those items. We buy stuff just because they are on sale and think we saved so much money. But in fact, we just spent some money that…

Making mistakes while decluttering can slow down the whole process. We declutter to reduce the overwhelm of having too many unused (or useless) things and thus to be able to live in a clean home. But making the following mistakes can affect the success of your decluttering process. Let’s see how you can avoid these mistakes and finally find the peace you are looking for in your living space. **This post contains affiliate links. I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through my affiliate link** 1. STARTING DECLUTTERING WITHOUT PREPARATION If you don’t make plans before starting the decluttering, you may likely end up with a mess you don’t know what to do with. Before starting with an area, find out what all do you need to deal with the clutter. Estimate whether you can finish the project in the…

Less is more. This can be applied in many areas of life. But this is especially true in the way we interact with kids. I mean, it doesn’t mean you interact less with kids. But if you find yourself you are a lecturing parent who has no set limit on the number of words you use while disciplining kids- pause and think. Does lecturing really work? How do our kids react when we lecture? Chances are they start tuning you out, roll their eyes, and may even repeat the undesired behavior again another day or even worse- they don’t stop doing what they were doing despite the lecture. WHY DO PARENTS LECTURE? Most of the time, parents start lecturing when children make the same mistakes again and again and children do not seem to get “why it is wrong”. And out of frustration, we may believe talking non-stop will help…