Times have changed. Raising kids as submissive and obedient is not considered ideal in today’s world. In fact, it’s healthier to raise kids who can speak for themselves so that they can grow to be self-reliant and have high self-esteem. But no parent wants to deal with a defiant child who won’t listen to what they say or comply with their requests. It can seem like an irony. We parents need to find a certain invisible line through which we can walk so that we don’t kill the spirits of a child who wants to speak their truth – their raw feelings – but at the same time, we need to make them understand the need to be self-disciplined and have an order in life. Kids often do not understand why they need to sleep on time or study what they don’t like at school. But kids who are usually…

The way we react to the emotions of kids has a big impact on their emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence (EI), otherwise known as Emotional Quotient, is the ability to understand, manage and regulate emotions. Along with understanding and managing one’s own emotions, EI includes the ability to understand and interpret other people’s emotions too. Since we are social beings, it’s important to have the ability to understand what people around us are feeling too. WHY IS DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN KIDS IMPORTANT? Some people are born with good emotional intelligence. But research shows that people with average EQ can do as well as others by learning and practising it. Emotional Intelligence can be gained and improved at any point in life (Goleman, 2014). Having good emotional intelligence skills is important because Kids need to develop self-awareness when it comes to their emotions. They are able to understand what emotions they…

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN POSITIVE/NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT AND POSITIVE/NEGATIVE PUNISHMENT As kids grow up, they learn about acceptable and non-acceptable behaviors through the response they get from their environment. According to the way kids behave, we give feedback to kids to act in a certain way so that they either repeat more of the good behaviors or stop repeating misbehaviors. Psychologists have classified the way we give feedback to kids as reinforcement and punishment. According to psychology.iowa.edu, Reinforcement is defined as a consequence that follows an operant response that increase (or attempts to increase) the likelihood of that response occurring in the future. And punishment is defined as, The infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offence. SO, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REINFORCEMENT AND PUNISHMENT? Reinforcement is used when you want your kids to repeat certain behaviors in the future. Punishment is used when you want your child to…

Backtalk is one of the most annoying behaviors parents face and feel worried about. Backtalks can be a normal part of growing up. But at the moment, as a parent when you are talked back to, it can make you enraged because you feel disrespected. You might think, “After all that I do for them, this is what I get”. I am here to say, I get you. Every parent goes through this at some point in time and it is okay. It is not legitimate to expect kids to be at their best behaviors all the time. And raising obedient kids who don’t speak a word against you (that means they can speak for themselves) isn’t healthy either. They should learn to assert their personal boundaries and express their emotions. It’s a sign of being a healthy individual. That being said, it doesn’t mean you have to endure whatever…

If you ask me what the toughest part of parenting is, I would say it is making the kids do what they don’t want to do. But when we also know that it’s something they need to do, it becomes every parent’s nagging problem. Homework is one such thing. If your child is intrinsically motivated to learn and do homework, you are lucky. But for many parents, getting their child to do their homework is a struggle. The key is in making kids internally motivated and making homework a habitual thing, so they know it is something they have to do. Why do kids hate homework? Many kids refuse to do homework because, after long hours at school, they simply don’t have the energy or interest to study again. And kids are missing out on their free time which they could spend playing with their friends or engaging in the…

Getting kids used to doing chores from a young age is essential to make them grow as independent and responsible adults. A culture I admire for raising kids responsible by making them do chores from a young age is of the country, Japan. In Japan, children receive the training to do all kinds of chores from a young age from school. Their aim is to grow kids into responsible citizens. They train children to do age-appropriate chores in each grade. It can be hard to grasp for non-Japanese people to digest the fact that first graders have the duty to clean their classrooms, but it shows how parents limit the kids from doing age-appropriate chores. We underestimate kids thinking they are not capable of doing the grown-up chores. But the fact is, with a little training, kids can be taught to do many of the chores we think is impossible…

One of the hardest roles you will ever play in life is that of a parent. If some days are extremely rewarding as a parent, on some other days, you are frustrated and might hate being a parent. We do not become parents after becoming fully educated and qualified to be one. We learn on the way. And that could lead to making many parenting mistakes. And some mistakes can even cost the self-esteem and healthy upbringing of our children. If we do not understand these mistakes and continue with bad parenting, it can have a lasting impact on our kids. The following are some signs to look for, to evaluate if you are doing a bad job in parenting. This is not to devalue anyone, but only for understanding where we need to improve as a parent. WHAT IS BAD PARENTING? On many struggling days, many parents do wonder…

Toddler tantrums are hard for both – parents and kids. It can be overwhelming and stressful, especially if tantrums break out in public places. So the question is, why do kids have tantrums? And is it possible to avoid tantrums? If you are wondering how you can stop your child from throwing tantrums over everything, let’s dig deep into what temper tantrums are and why kids have tantrums in the first place, so we can know how to manage it better. WHAT ARE TEMPER TANTRUMS? According to healthofchildren.com, a temper tantrum is defined as, A tantrum is an episode of extreme anger and frustration characterized by crying, screaming, and violent body motions, including throwing things, falling to the floor, and banging one’s head, hands, and feet against the floor. Temper tantrums are usually seen in kids aged between 1 and 4. It is most frequent in kids around the age…

As soon as we become parents, parental stress becomes a part of us. It’s natural to worry about the people we love. But when it comes to kids, since we are the ones raising them and teaching them everything, we worry more. Learning to manage anxiety is important to bring out your best as a parent. If we can’t handle stress as a mother, it affects our energy and the ability to function healthily. Mom anxiety affects not only us but our kids too. It’s hard for kids to live with a parent who has anxiety. So for our own sake and for our kids, let’s learn how to deal with stress as a mom. 1. GROW AWARENESS The first step in dealing with stress is becoming aware of it when we experience anxiety. Anxiety manifests outward as headache, stomach pain, fatigue, shortness of breath, insomnia, and other sleep issues. If…

Children, like adults, have the inherent need to belong and feel significant. When they don’t feel belonging and realize that they matter, they react through different ways of misbehaviors. Do you often wonder why your child misbehaves even after disciplining and teaching so many times? Well. Repeating yourself verbally many times is ineffective and is bad training. You need to get to the root of their behavior to understand the real causes. So, why do kids act out? Kids act out when they have unmet needs. As said earlier, needs include physical and emotional. Physical needs include nutritious food, shelter, good sleep, clothing, etc. I think most of us are aware of their physical needs. Emotional needs include love, attention, and freedom to choose and be. When these needs are unmet, they do not know to say it directly. They express it through “misbehaviors”. When they misbehave, what they actually…