Messy Yet Lovely

One of the hardest roles you will ever play in life is that of a parent. If some days are extremely rewarding as a parent, on some other days, you are frustrated and might hate being a parent. We do not become parents after becoming fully educated and qualified to be one. We learn on the way. And that could lead to making many parenting mistakes. And some mistakes can even cost the self-esteem and healthy upbringing of our children. If we do not understand these mistakes and continue with bad parenting, it can have a lasting impact on our kids. The following are some signs to look for, to evaluate if you are doing a bad job in parenting. This is not to devalue anyone, but only for understanding where we need to improve as a parent. WHAT IS BAD PARENTING? On many struggling days, many parents do wonder…

Toddler tantrums are hard for both – parents and kids. It can be overwhelming and stressful, especially if tantrums break out in public places. So the question is, why do kids have tantrums? And is it possible to avoid tantrums? If you are wondering how you can stop your child from throwing tantrums over everything, let’s dig deep into what temper tantrums are and why kids have tantrums in the first place, so we can know how to manage it better. WHAT ARE TEMPER TANTRUMS? According to healthofchildren.com, a temper tantrum is defined as, A tantrum is an episode of extreme anger and frustration characterized by crying, screaming, and violent body motions, including throwing things, falling to the floor, and banging one’s head, hands, and feet against the floor. Temper tantrums are usually seen in kids aged between 1 and 4. It is most frequent in kids around the age…

As soon as we become parents, parental stress becomes a part of us. It’s natural to worry about the people we love. But when it comes to kids, since we are the ones raising them and teaching them everything, we worry more. Learning to manage anxiety is important to bring out your best as a parent. If we can’t handle stress as a mother, it affects our energy and the ability to function healthily. Mom anxiety affects not only us but our kids too. It’s hard for kids to live with a parent who has anxiety. So for our own sake and for our kids, let’s learn how to deal with stress as a mom. 1. GROW AWARENESS The first step in dealing with stress is becoming aware of it when we experience anxiety. Anxiety manifests outward as headache, stomach pain, fatigue, shortness of breath, insomnia, and other sleep issues. If…

Children, like adults, have the inherent need to belong and feel significant. When they don’t feel belonging and realize that they matter, they react through different ways of misbehaviors. Do you often wonder why your child misbehaves even after disciplining and teaching so many times? Well. Repeating yourself verbally many times is ineffective and is bad training. You need to get to the root of their behavior to understand the real causes. So, why do kids act out? Kids act out when they have unmet needs. As said earlier, needs include physical and emotional. Physical needs include nutritious food, shelter, good sleep, clothing, etc. I think most of us are aware of their physical needs. Emotional needs include love, attention, and freedom to choose and be. When these needs are unmet, they do not know to say it directly. They express it through “misbehaviors”. When they misbehave, what they actually…

The best way to solve a problem is to prevent the problem. The same can be said about clutter. If you do all the decluttering only to bring back more of it, what’s the point right? After you do the major decluttering task (or minor), how can we stop accumulating clutter again? Here are some tips. FORM GOOD DECLUTTERING HABITS The best way to prevent clutter from accumulating is to form daily decluttering habits that prevent clutter accumulation. Let’s see what those good habits are. 1. LEARN TO DEAL WITH THE TEMPTATION The number one reason we accumulate stuff is that we are tempted by the next cute thing or the next big hyped thing. Most of the time, we don’t even need those items. We buy stuff just because they are on sale and think we saved so much money. But in fact, we just spent some money that…

Making mistakes while decluttering can slow down the whole process. We declutter to reduce the overwhelm of having too many unused (or useless) things and thus to be able to live in a clean home. But making the following mistakes can affect the success of your decluttering process. Let’s see how you can avoid these mistakes and finally find the peace you are looking for in your living space. **This post contains affiliate links. I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through my affiliate link** 1. STARTING DECLUTTERING WITHOUT PREPARATION If you don’t make plans before starting the decluttering, you may likely end up with a mess you don’t know what to do with. Before starting with an area, find out what all do you need to deal with the clutter. Estimate whether you can finish the project in the…

Less is more. This can be applied in many areas of life. But this is especially true in the way we interact with kids. I mean, it doesn’t mean you interact less with kids. But if you find yourself you are a lecturing parent who has no set limit on the number of words you use while disciplining kids- pause and think. Does lecturing really work? How do our kids react when we lecture? Chances are they start tuning you out, roll their eyes, and may even repeat the undesired behavior again another day or even worse- they don’t stop doing what they were doing despite the lecture. WHY DO PARENTS LECTURE? Most of the time, parents start lecturing when children make the same mistakes again and again and children do not seem to get “why it is wrong”. And out of frustration, we may believe talking non-stop will help…

Kids are the most curious creatures ever. My 6-year-old can never stop asking questions. Even though sometimes it drives me nuts, I realize it’s a good way to get to know about people and the world we live in. And an amazing way to get to know your kids better is to ask questions to them. I don’t know whether it’s because I have less and less time now to be curious and make questions up, I find a list of good questions to ask kids useful. As part of your daily connection time with kids (if you don’t do it already, I highly recommend it!), I like to take this list and ask funny and thoughtful questions. It always ends in laughter or some light-hearted moments. And the fact is when kids grow up, they might not talk as much as they are now. It might get harder to…

Becoming a parent is a huge milestone in everyone’s life. It changes our life irreversibly. After becoming parents we need to dedicate a lot of time and resources to kids. But does that mean we should lose our sleep over raising kids and hover around them all the time as if our world revolves only around them? Such a way of parenting is called helicopter parenting. The term helicopter parent was coined by Foster Cline and Jim Fay in 1990. Helicopter parents hover around their children like a helicopter, monitoring every move of theirs and giving constant directions on what they can do and what they cannot. Keep reading if you think you exhibit signs of being a helicopter parent and want to know how to stop being a helicopter parent. WHAT CAUSES HELICOPTER PARENTING? Fear. Though there can be various reasons why parents decide to hover over their kids,…

A few months ago, I started noticing how my mental health has been on a decline after having kids. I pondered about it for some days and then I realized why my stress is running high. I was not doing too much for kids. But I was going a bit high on the controlling side. I realized maybe I exhibit some signs of being a helicopter parent. I was constantly worried about things like, if they are having too much screen time, too much junk food, etc, and hovering above them to make sure they are not doing this, that, etc. Then I reached a point where I couldn’t take it anymore and then I realized I am not the only one who is suffering, but my kids too. They want their freedom and I want mine too. Well, sadly, I realized I have a few characteristics of a helicopter…